Terms of Service

Effective Date: September 30, 2026 • Service: HotMessExpress • Operated by: Dysfunction Junction (Michael Hebert, sole proprietor)

1. Agreement

By creating an account or using HotMessExpress (“the Service”), hosted at https://hotmessexpress.lol and operated by Michael Hebert, an individual based in Texas (“we”, “us”), you agree to these Terms and our Privacy Policy. If you do not agree, do not use the Service.

You must be at least 18 to create a household account. Children under 13 use the Service only through a profile that a parent or guardian sets up and consents to. Teens 13 to 17 may use the Service only as a member invited by a parent or guardian, who remains responsible for their use. If you set up a household or a child profile, you confirm you are authorized to do so.

2. Description of the Service

HotMessExpress is a household coordination app: chores, routines, shopping and pantry lists, schedules, family messages, bills and expenses, smart briefings, an AI assistant, and tools for families with one or two households, including separated parents who share care of a child.

3. Accounts, Households & Roles

4. Subscriptions & Billing

Free tier. A household can use the basic features for free. Premium features and additional members require a paid subscription billed through Stripe at the price shown when you subscribe.

Free trial. New households get a 7-day free trial of Premium. No card is required to start. If you do not add a payment method before day 7 ends, the household drops to the free tier and is not charged; your data is kept. If you add a payment method and do not cancel before the trial ends, the subscription converts to paid and your card is charged at the end of the trial.

Automatic renewal. Paid subscriptions renew automatically each billing period at the price shown at signup until you cancel. You can cancel at any time in the billing portal inside the app, and access continues until the end of the period you already paid for. Prices may change with at least 30 days’ notice, and the new price applies at your next renewal. Taxes may apply.

Payments are non-refundable except where the law requires a refund or where we choose to give one. If you believe you were charged in error, email us at the address below within 30 days.

5. Co-Parenting & Family Records

The Service can help two households share information about children, including addresses, contact details, and records such as shared expenses.

HotMessExpress is not a law firm and does not give legal advice.

6. AI Features

The AI assistant and other AI features may make mistakes. They do not provide medical, legal, financial, mental-health, or custody advice. Review AI output before you rely on it or act on it, especially for health, money, or safety. Medication and dosing entries are reminders you create; confirm every dose with a pharmacist, doctor, or the product label. In an emergency, call 911 or Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222. Content you send to the assistant is processed by the AI providers listed in our Privacy Policy.

7. Third-Party Integrations & Google Services

The Service can connect to third parties such as Google (sign-in, Calendar, and Gmail read-only message inspection), a bank through SimpleFIN, Home Assistant, and smart-home platforms such as Google Home. Connecting them is your choice.

8. Your Content

You keep ownership of what you add. You give us a limited license to store, process, and display it to run the Service for you and your household, including sending it to the service providers named in our Privacy Policy. You are responsible for what you enter.

9. Acceptable Use

You agree not to:

We may suspend accounts that put people or the Service at risk.

10. Smart-Home & Device Control

Controlling locks, heating, or appliances remotely carries safety risk. You are responsible for your devices, your network, and who in your household may control them. Do not rely on the Service for safety-critical functions.

11. Intellectual Property

The design, brand assets, code, logos, and features of HotMessExpress are owned by Michael Hebert or his licensors. We grant you a personal, non-exclusive, non-transferable license to use the Service for household coordination.

12. Availability & Changes

We aim for reliability but do not promise uninterrupted or error-free service. We may change or discontinue features, and we will give reasonable notice of changes that materially affect paying households.

13. Termination & Data Deletion

You can stop using the Service at any time. You can delete your account and household data in the app (Settings → Delete my account, which sends us a verified request), at hotmessexpress.lol/delete-account, or by emailing us at the address below; once we confirm the request, we permanently delete the data within 30 days. We may suspend or end access for breach of these Terms or to protect people or the Service. On termination we handle your data as the Privacy Policy describes.

14. Disclaimers & Limitation of Liability

THE SERVICE IS PROVIDED “AS IS” AND “AS AVAILABLE” WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED.

HotMessExpress is an organizational companion. It is not medical advice, mental-health treatment, financial planning, legal advice, or an emergency service. We do not promise that the Service will be uninterrupted, bug-free, or accurate.

TO THE FULLEST EXTENT THE LAW ALLOWS, OUR TOTAL LIABILITY FOR ANY CLAIM RELATING TO THE SERVICE IS LIMITED TO THE AMOUNT YOU PAID US IN THE 12 MONTHS BEFORE THE CLAIM, AND WE ARE NOT LIABLE FOR INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES. Some places do not allow these limits, so they may not apply to you.

14a. Copyright

If you believe content in the Service infringes your copyright, send a notice with the information required by 17 U.S.C. § 512(c)(3) to michael@hotmessexpress.lol. We will remove infringing content and may end the accounts of repeat infringers.

15. Governing Law & Disputes

These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of Texas, without regard to conflict-of-law rules. Any dispute will be brought in the state or federal courts located in Texas, and you and we consent to their jurisdiction. Before filing a claim, please email us so we can try to resolve it informally.

Binding arbitration and class-action waiver. Except for small-claims actions and claims for injunctive relief over intellectual property, any dispute between you and us will be resolved by binding individual arbitration administered by the American Arbitration Association under its consumer rules, in Texas or by video. You and we each waive the right to a jury trial and to bring or join a class, collective or representative action. You may opt out within 30 days of first accepting these Terms by emailing michael@hotmessexpress.lol with the subject “Arbitration opt-out”. This section does not limit rights you have that cannot be waived by law.

16. Changes to These Terms

We may update these Terms. We will announce material changes in the app and update the effective date at the top. Continued use after a change means you accept it.

17. Contact Information

For any questions or legal notices regarding these Terms, please contact:

Michael Hebert
Website: https://hotmessexpress.lol
Email: michael@hotmessexpress.lol